I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
