He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
