I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
