omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
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