The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
