WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
