yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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