Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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