She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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