then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
