I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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