Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Never underestimate the power of titties
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
