He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You're a waste of cheezeits
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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