is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
