he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
