I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
