Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
