I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
