You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She needs sedatives and a leash
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
