So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
