Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
