it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
