There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
