and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Did I show you my penis last night?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
