Porn is love you can see.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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