spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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