i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
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