I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
