Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
All the doctor said was why
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
