I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
