It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
