I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
