um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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