Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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