i just wanna soil my oats bro
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
