Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
