he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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