Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
