honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
