Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
