i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
