Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
He shit in the fireplace
wow bdsm is so cute
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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