talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
