Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
