Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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