Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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