I could make wine with my vomit
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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