And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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