so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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