whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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